"Flirting is about playing with possibility, not going in for the kill.”

— Esther Perel

Greetings gentlemen!

This is The Dating Dose! We're like your seasoned boxing coach, focused on mastering dating techniques so you don't get knocked out in the ring of love!

In today's dose... 💉

💔 Stuck In The Friend Zone?
👩🏾 17 Compliment Combos for Date Night
❌ 10 DONTs Keeping You from Deeper Connections

And more!

AWESOME LINKS...
The Best On The Net

Turning a Spark into a Flame (link)
How to Dress Well in Your 40s (link)
Body Language Secrets to Attract Women (link)

DATING DEEP DIVE…
Learn to flirt and break free of the friend zone!

As a dating coach, I’m used to men complaining about getting friend-zoned. A lot.

And they think a big part of it is because they don’t know how to flirt. 

Let’s take a step back for a moment.

When you think of someone ‘flirting’, what comes to mind?

Typically, you might picture a guy at a bar using a few cleverly crafted pick up lines to get a woman’s attention.

But here’s the truth. Flirting is as individual as personality. It’s not a one size fits all, and not every style will suit you.

So, as a first step, I invite you to ask yourself:

🧠 What does flirting look like on you?
🧠 What would make you feel comfortable when expressing interest in someone?

Hint: There’s no wrong answer!

Connecting with women romantically isn’t about searching for some external solution. Just the idea of that sounds so mechanical… so… unnatural.

Instead, it’s about leaning into the parts of you that make you feel like Prince Charming.

Why is this important?

Because at the end of the day, if you’re looking for a meaningful relationship, someone has to fall in love with YOU. Your authentic self. (Not the guy who learned the best pick up line from a YouTube video).

OK, now that we've laid the groundwork, take a breath. We've got you.

Today we’re going to explore why women may not be looking at you romantically and how to break out of the dreaded Friend Zone. 

Confidence

Connecting with women begins with confidence.

Today's Dose isn't a confidence masterclass (but if that's what you're after, click here).

If your confidence is lacking, make it your priority. Build it up first, and then return here for the next steps.

PS: You don’t need to be at level 10. Aim for 5 or 6 and get moving. Then shift to focusing on small wins quickly.

Intention

Flirting, on the other hand, begins with intention. It starts with you, not your date.

So first, simply decide that you’re going to lean into your flirtatious side before your upcoming dating interaction, whether it's in person or online.

Feeling good about yourself is key - Those small details matter more than you think. Hitting the gym that day, dressing well, a fresh cut, jamming to your favorite tunes - are all things that can boost your energy and get you in the right headspace before a date.

Shine

It might be tempting to try something new on a date. And why not? Sounds fun!

But, if you’ve been getting friend-zoned, new activities can add unnecessary pressure and lower your confidence.

For example, if you’ve never been before, indoor rock climbing is probably not the best idea. And maybe stay clear of a 5-star French restaurant with an unpronounceable menu.

Instead, set yourself up to win by putting yourself in an environment where you’re bound to shine!

You do this by choosing an activity that you’re already great at and can show her the ropes. Let her see you in your element.

Or make reservations at a nice restaurant you're familiar with.

Something as simple as “The seafood platter is excellent here, up for sharing it?” is a way to take the lead, showcasing your knowledge and confidence without much effort.

Body Language

Back in my matchmaking days, many men would leave their dates convinced it went great.

Yet, a few hours later, I'd often hear a contrasting story from the women.

It wasn’t always that she didn’t enjoy the date or that she wasn’t into him… In fact, often it was the other way around. She assumed he wasn't interested in her!

The root of the problem? Body language. Most people are unaware of their non-verbal cues.

Your facial expressions, posture, and even your tone of voice can tell a different story than what you intend.

A big one? Not smiling! How is a woman supposed to think you like-like her if you haven’t cracked a smile all night?

Then there are other slips: Avoiding eye contact creates timid vibes. And barely laughing can make the mood feel still and awkward.

Consider this: About 90% of communication is non-verbal. So, mastering these cues puts you practically in the lead.

There’s no shortage of online resources offering fantastic tips on body language for dating.

This is a skill you can pick up fast with just a little know-how and practice.

Presence

Being truly present is not easy. And that’s why it’s so meaningful.

You can cultivate this skill with practices like meditation, breath-work and other mindfulness exercises.

When you’re able to anchor into the present, you’ll become more aware of the subtle moments that really count. Like, observing her tiny quirks and being able to and reflect them back…

For instance, "I noticed you take a sip of your water every time you laugh. It's cute."

Something like this can be irresistibly charming!

Equally crucial is keeping your phone out of sight. Recent studies have shown a whopping 80% of singles prefer dates where phones are away.

Moreover, 3 out of 4 individuals feel more reluctant to open up if their date is preoccupied with their phone.

Conversation

1. Practice Active Listening:

Truly listening to someone speak is not just about hearing words, it's about paying attention to what's not being said. Her facial expressions, her tone of voice, where she directs her eyes, are all part of the story.

‘Active listening’ involves giving her your full attention, reflecting, not interrupting, and responding thoughtfully. It shows you value her words, making the conversation more meaningful for both of you.

2. Lead With Genuine Curiosity:

Ever been trapped in that loop of thinking…

"What am I going to talk about?”
“How do I avoid awkward silences?"

It comes back to authenticity.

What are you actually most curious about? With curiosity at the forefront, not only does it keep the conversation flowing, but it also signals that you're genuinely interested in her as a person. (Tip: Doing this is much easier when you are actively listening).

For example: “You mentioned in your profile that you’re back in school. I’m so intrigued! Tell me more :)”

3. Speak Passionately:

Avoid topics simply because you believe they're "right" or "expected" on a date. It’ll come across as robotic and forced.

Instead, talk about things you love and are interested in. This way, you’ll come across as enthusiastic and passionate— both of which are attractive qualities.

(PS: This isn’t a hall pass to monopolize the conversation with fantasy football, but more on that below).

4. Balance The Conversation:

“An interesting person is an interested person.”

Have you come across this saying before?

While showing interest and allowing your date the space to express themselves can make them feel valued and appreciated, being too passive can lead to the infamous 'friend-zone'.

The point of any date is for both of you to have fun and get to know each other.

What makes conversation great is just that - Conversing! It requires two people to participate. So don’t be the nice guy that sits there silently nodding.

5. Say Nice Things:

Men often ask me “Should I compliment her?”

The answer is always a resounding — "Of course you should! Just be respectful and genuine.”

Compliments don’t have to be complicated. If fact, the simpler they are, the more natural they’ll come across and the more often you can sprinkle them in.

Examples of Direct compliments:

“You look nice.”
“You look wonderful.”
“You’re genuinely funny.”
“You’re easy to talk to.”
“You have a great smile”
“My friends would love you.”
“I love your laugh, it’s contagious”

Examples of Question-Style compliments:

You: "Is that a tattoo?”
Her: "Yeah it is"
You: "It’s really nice. It suits you."

You: "Oh wow, you made that?”
Her: "Indeed I did!"
You: "It’s really something. You’re talented."

Examples of Notice & Reflect compliments (as we covered above in “Active Listening”):

“It’s adorable how you tap your feet when the music comes on.”
“Your eyes really light up when you talk about your work.”
“I noticed you take a sip of your water every time you laugh. Its cute.”

6. Engage In Playful Teasing:

Remember back when we were kids and a little boy might pull a girl's ponytail or tease her on the playground?

Everyone would say, "It's because he likes you!" 

In the modern dating world, this dynamic still exists and (fortunately 😅) has evolved into a more sophisticated dance.

Introducing the ‘Childhood Charm’ method. It’s about bringing that innocent, playful teasing from our younger years into our adult interactions with maturity and respect.

This method is about saying something sweet, and then pairing it with some light teasing. Here are some examples:

“You’re fun, but I feel like you’re trouble”
“My friends would love you, but they'd sense you're a troublemaker”
“Wasn’t expecting that! Your profile paints quite the innocent picture, haha”
“You’re cute… but you can’t be trusted.”

7. Call Her By Her Name:

There's a certain magic to our own names.

Dale Carnegie once said, "a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

It has the power to grab one's attention and create a deeper connection.

8. Bonus tip! Leave Her Wanting More:

If the date is going well, you might be tempted to ride the wave and keep it going.

But in the early days of getting to know someone, leaving on a high note can do wonders, keeping the mystery alive and the anticipation for a next date high.

The Dangers of Being a Nice Guy

We came across an article about the ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’, and felt it was the perfect complement to today’s Dose.

Below, we’ve cut out and shared our favorite part, as it reinforces the importance of authenticity and assertiveness in dating. Take a read:

“Why Women Aren't Attracted to 'Nice Guys'

Women are often attracted to authenticity, confidence, and emotional openness.

When men overly project niceness, they can appear disingenuous, unassertive, or lacking self-confidence.

Research shows that women typically seek a partner who can express their thoughts and feelings clearly and stand up for their beliefs.

They crave authenticity, something often missing in 'nice guys'.

Breaking the Nice Guy Illusion

How can you fight this syndrome?

By embracing your authenticity and assertiveness.

Kindness doesn't mean suppressing your desires or avoiding confrontations.

Standing up for yourself isn't rude - it's a critical part of maintaining your personal integrity.

Strategies to Overcome the Syndrome

Overcoming the nice guy syndrome involves:

• Practicing assertiveness

• Defining boundaries

• Leaning into authenticity

• Prioritizing your own needs”

Read the full article here and learn how to put this into practice. We recommend subscribing, its a great resource! www.manmorning.com/p/nice-guy-syndrome

DO NOT DO THIS.

Aright, we’ve covered all Dos… let’s make sure you’re aware of the DONTs.

1. Never be aggressive, passive-aggressive, rude or disrespectful.

2. Don’t be too forward.

3. Don’t make sexual comments.

4. Don’t rely on cheesy, pre-packaged pick-up lines.

5. Don’t invade her personal space.

6. Don’t assume.(Ask permission)

7. Don’t dominate the conversation.

8. Don’t be negative.

9. Don’t speak badly about other women.

10. Don’t over do it.

Let’s elaborate on that last one for a moment.

“Overdo what?” You might be asking.

Anything and everything. Every piece of advice we’ve shared here today requires moderation. Whether it's compliments, eye contact, saying her name, or playful teasing — balance is the key.

As you incorporate these new elements into your interactions, remember to pace yourself. Think of it like salt, you can always add more but once you’ve overdone it, the dish is ruined.

And there you have it!

Embrace learning these new parts about yourself. Take joy in becoming a more well-rounded man, and don’t forget to take pride in your growth along the way.

Be sure to have fun with this part of dating. As long as you’re self-aware, respectful and kind, there’s lots of room to play. If it feels a little risky, go for it!

Last but not least, don’t take yourself so seriously. After all, we’re all just on a giant rock floating through space, trying to figure this life out.

MAN UP MISSION...

'Flirtation Station' 😘😉

Your Man Up Mission is 1 practical 'to-do' item each week to keep you moving, motivated, and manly! It’s designed to help you put theory into practice and see tangible results in your dating life.

This week's mission is called: Flirtation Station!

Prepare yourself for a reflective journey designed to help you reconnect with your inner Prince Charming.

📬 Delivery Date: Your mission details will be delivered straight to your inbox Sunday morning!

Don’t miss it!

Until then, go over today’s Heart of the matter article (above) — re-read it, soak it in, take notes, and keep your eyes peeled for how to put it into action.

That's all for now! Thanks for reading, and see you next time 🫡

—The Dating Dose Team ❤️

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