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- 💌 The Date Trifecta: Part 3
💌 The Date Trifecta: Part 3
Revealed! 5 steps to date night, 13 teachers you'll love, 9 mindfulness basics, and 4 choose your own adventures
The Dating Dose
February 10, 2024
"How we pay attention to the present moment determines the character of our experience and the quality of our lives.”
— Sam Harris
Greetings Gentlemen!
It’s Coach Kavita here 👩🏻 I’m a Love Coach for Men, and the Writer behind The Dating Dose!
I help growth-minded men (just like you) re-enter the dating world, build unshakable confidence, and find LOVE! ❤️
Each week, I’ll be here sharing the kind of expert dating advice and insights that clients pay the big bucks for 💰
Btw, I would love to get to know you better 🙂 Click here to tell me about yourself.
In Today's Dose... 💉
🤯 The Date Trifecta! Part 3 Revealed
🗺️ 5 Steps to Date Night
💪🏽 Mission: Own Your Aura
👨🏽🏫 13 Teachers of Wisdom
And more!
AWESOME STUFF I FOUND FOR YOU THIS WEEK…
The Best On The Net
Dating Deep Dive
Welcome back to The Fine Arts of Dating!
A couple weeks ago, I kicked off a special 3-part series called ‘The Fine Arts of Dating’.
So far I covered:
These elements set the stage for successful first dates and beyond.
But there's one more crucial piece to uncover…
It’s something that makes a profound impact while appearing completely effortless.
Do I have your full attention?
PART 3 - PRESENCE AND ITS POWERFUL INFLUENCE
Trying your best to be fully present on a date changes everything.
It's your way of saying to her, 'Hey, you’re my priority right now.'
And this isn't just about making her feel special—it's a game changer for you too.
When you really zone in and focus on being 'here and now’, things just get easier.
You become more aware of the subtle moments that really count.
Your overthinking tendencies fade into the background (finally!)
You find yourself actively listening and responding to her effortlessly.
You start noticing the little things, like your body language and the signals she’s giving you.
You’re able to observe her tiny quirks and reflect them back…
For example, you’ll be able to say: 'I noticed you take a sip of your water every time you laugh. It's cute.'
Just ‘noticing’ can be irresistibly charming!
Being present is a way to show respect and make a real connection.
👉🏼 But what happens when your nerves start to get the best of you?
In the next section below, I share 'The 5 Steps to Being Present on Your Date’.
Keep reading 👀
The 5 Steps to being present on your date 👩🏼❤️👨🏽
[Before Your Date...]
Step 1 - Engage in a short mindfulness practice. I've shared plenty of unique ideas for inspiration in the next section.
Step 2 - Set a clear intention. It can be to be present, actively listen, and be mindful of your body language.
The intention you set is key to setting the tone for the entire date. You can say it out loud in front of the mirror or write it down.
Step 3 - Put your phone away for the entire duration of your date. Even when she goes to the ladies room, use that time to stay in the moment and take a breather.
Recent studies have shown that a whopping 80% of singles prefer dates where phones are out of sight.
Moreover, 3 out of 4 individuals feel more reluctant to open up if their date is preoccupied with their phone.
[After Your Date...]
Step 4 - Avoid immediately diving into social media, emails, or text messages after your date.
Wait for at least 10 minutes before engaging with these distractions. Instead, take a moment to reflect on how you feel, your energy levels and soak in your overall experience.
Step 5 - Practice reflection. Take a few moments and write down 3 ways in which you were more present on your date. For example:
I maintained good eye contact all evening.
I managed to catch myself quickly when my mind started to wander.
I noticed I was feel nervous and took 3 deep breaths to stay grounded.
These 5 steps will help you reinforce your commitment to being present and improve your dating experiences—guaranteed.
👉🏼 So what are some mindfulness practices you can try? Keep reading 👀
🙋🏻♀️ Make sure to scroll down for this week’s Man Up Mission, where I present you with 4 ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ options!
Mindfulness Basics For Men: A Playful Guide to Embracing the Present
When you think of practicing mindfulness, there’s a classic image that often comes to mind: sitting cross-legged, hands in the Om position, eyes gently closed.
But anchoring into the present moment extends beyond traditional meditation to activities you can enjoy. For example…
Gardening
Cooking
Yoga / Tai Chi
Gratitude journaling (click here for my step-by-step guide)
Artistic expression (drawing, painting, dancing).
Being in nature (hikes or walks)
Spending time with animals
Cold showers and saunas
Breath work
👉🏼 Being truly present doesn’t just happen. It’s a skill you need to cultivate and a practice you need to put into place.
PRO TIP! 💡
All this isn’t to say that traditional mindfulness practices aren't excellent in their own right…
In fact, just 3 deep breaths can do wonders to anchor you into the present moment.
Here are 2 timeless practices available to you at all times:
Breathing Exercises: Take a few minutes to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply, counting to four, hold for four seconds, and then exhale for four seconds. Repeat this pattern for a few cycles, calming your mind and body.
Body Scan: Practice a body scan meditation, where you consciously focus on each part of your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head. This can help release tension and promote relaxation.
👉🏼 But hey, you don’t have to navigate this all alone… keep reading 👀
13 Teachers I love! 🫶🏽
As a dating coach, I firmly believe in the value of tapping into the knowledge and experience of others.
Here are 13 of my favorite extraordinary teachers, each with a unique approach to wisdom, personal growth and mindfulness.
From bestselling authors to meditation apps and spiritual leaders, this diverse lineup offers something for everyone :)
1. Sam Harris: Neuroscientist and philosopher, known for his insightful exploration of consciousness, and founder of the Waking Up app, suitable for curious minds at all levels. (Get your free guest pass here)
2. Headspace app: A meditation app that guides users to mindfulness and serenity, ideal for beginners on their mindfulness journey.
3. Tara Brach: A meditation teacher and psychologist acclaimed for her compassionate teachings on mindfulness and self-compassion, with free talks and meditations for all levels.
4. Yoga with Adrienne: A YouTube sensation, renowned for making yoga accessible to all through her free YouTube channel, perfect for beginners and beyond.
5. Calm app: An app that brings tranquility into our lives through meditation, sleep stories, and relaxation techniques, catering to all seeking calmness.
6. Sadhguru: A spiritual leader and yogi, celebrated for his profound insights into self-realization and inner engineering, appealing to those on a deep spiritual quest.
7. Deepak Chopra: A prominent figure in holistic wellness, celebrated for his teachings on mind-body healing and spiritual growth, with wisdom for seekers at all levels.
8. Eckhart Tolle: Renowned for his spiritual wisdom and the transformative power of living in the present moment, for those seeking profound spiritual insights.
9. Jack Kornfield: A respected meditation teacher and author, known for his teachings on mindfulness, compassion, and free talks and meditations for all levels.
10. Dan Harris: An ABC News anchor and meditation advocate, recognized for his journey from skepticism to mindfulness, suitable for those new to meditation.
11. Joe Dispenza: Noted for his work on the science of transformation and the power of the mind to heal the body, offering his unique flavor for those looking for personal growth.
12. Wim Hoff: Known as the "Iceman," famous for his breathwork method and extreme cold exposure techniques, attracting those seeking physical and mental resilience.
13. Othership app: An innovative app designed to foster meaningful connections and authentic conversations in the digital age, ideal for those longing for genuine connections.
And that’s a wrap on my 3 Part Series!
Remember gents: conversation skills, body language, and presence are a date night trifecta!
Keep practicing, be patient, and watch how these small changes can make a major difference in your dating experiences.
👉🏼 Did you enjoy this 3-Part series?
Click the poll at the end of the email to let me know if you liked this format and want to see more ‘series-style’ newsletters.
Until next time,
-Coach Kavita ❤️
PS. I would love to get to know you better! Click here to tell me about yourself 🙂
IT’S TIME FOR ACTION! THIS WEEK’S MISSION IS…
‘Own Your Aura’
When I coach clients, we don't just chat over coffee. We roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty.
That's why every week, I bring you the Man Up Mission. Think of it as your weekly homework with a fun twist, designed to get you real results in your dating life.
📬 ‘Own Your Aura’ is all about nurturing new habits to be more attentive and genuinely engaged on the dates you go on.
After cultivating new conversation skills and becoming in tune with your body language, it's time to anchor your presence. This week’s mission is a Choose Your Own Adventure style…
Over the next 7 days, choose just one of the adventures below to begin or enhance your journey to mindful presence.
🔎 Adventure 1 - Curious Quest
⏰ Time commitment: You get to choose
Explore the links for the 13 teachers mentioned above. Spend a few minutes checking out each one. Set aside any that don’t resonate with you. Then, choose one that intrigues you the most and consume at least one substantial piece of content from them (podcast, YouTube video, interview etc).
🙏🏽 Adventure 2 - Om Shanti Om
⏰ Time commitment: 10 mins a day
I personally use Sam Harris’s meditation app (Waking Up) on a weekly basis. It offers a free 30 day meditation beginner course. As part of this adventure, your mission is to complete 7 days (should you wish to continue, the choice is yours!)
🧘🏽 Adventure 3 - Aligning Body & Mind
⏰ Time commitment: Ranges from 10-40 mins a day
If your mind often spirals, getting out of your head and into your body might be the best adventure for you. And yoga is the perfect tool for this. Yoga with Adriene offers a free 30-day journey to get you started down this path. Again, all you need to do is commit to 7 days (the rest is up to you!) Psst: Day 1 is super easy. Start now.
🥶 Adventure 4 - Cold Courage
⏰ Time commitment: 30 seconds a day!
Embrace the invigorating Whim Hoff method and turn the knob all the way cold for 30 seconds every day when you shower. And yes, you can build up to it if needed. Like starting with 10 seconds and working your way up each day.
Choose the option that resonates with you most. Once you commit, see it through.
Have fun. You got this! 💪🏽
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That's all for now!
If you’re ready for more in your love life, click here to tell me about yourself! 🤝🏽
—Coach Kavita ❤️